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Last night rocked. It did. Our football team got fucking owned, though. 69 to 0...JESUS. o__o;

The OU rehearsal was very boring. Oh well, I didn't have to stay long..

Well, I'm no longer too shy to kiss. o__o. Jamie and I made out for a total of like 3 hours on the bus. x3

Yeah, I had a really good night. But I've noticed, I can't play very loud anymore. Like..It's weird. My size four reeds are getting way too easy to play and my tone's suffering because of it. I'm pretty sure there are thicker reeds, but I've never seen any around.

I'm gonna mow the lawn so I can get like 50$. Then Aaron and I are gonna go to LazerXtreme and Laser Tag.

Great, great night.

After school, Jamie and I cuddled/PDAd all over each other for about 4 hours. And we just walked around, cuddled and talked. It was very nice. We're getting more open with eachother as time goes on. And, we're getting more physical. :3

Oh well, the game was alright. I don't really enjoy them because Jamie's in colorguard and I never get to interact with her, really. Oh well.

After the game, Jamie and I were very tired..We went outside and held each other for a bit..And when I least expected it, she kissed me. :] We kissed like 9 times. x3 I don't know, but the height difference made it interesting. (I'm 10 inches taller than her. Lmfao.)

Today was a good day for the most part.

I am now going out with Jamie. :]

She's so cute, I just wish I could see her more. Oh well, we'll see each other plenty.

And I wish lunch was longer. o-o


But it still seems surreal. Someone as beautiful and nice as her being involved with someone as odd and lame as me.

I'm thankful for it, though.

Life's been interesting.

This week has been going kinda baldy class-wise, though. Because I don't seem that motivated, I just feel kinda down whenever I'm not with Jamie..

I talked to her today after first hour. I told her "I think..We should go out." And she seemed really caught off guard.

She said that she doesn't know. And she said that she had talked to her sister, and that she tells her sister everything and that her sister already doesn't like me cause I use DXM for recreation. I can understand that, it's been portrayed in the media as a very dangerous habit, both mentally and physically.

But I can tell that it bothers Jamie too. And that she was worried about it. And I don't want her to worry, she shouldn't have to. And if she decides to be in a relationship with me, I want it to be as open as possible. I want her to be able to trust me, and not have to worry every time I go to a friend's house. So, she's considering it. I know she likes me quite a bit, and that she's worried about screwing up something between us.

I've never been in a relationship that was very open. Like..I never told every single thing about my life, even when it was actually quite a significant little detail, I just decided to let things slide that could possibly cause drama or conflicts, seeing as I'm a coward. But I'm tired of it. There's no way that a successful relationship could come from dishonesty or secrecy.

So, I'll quit drugs for her. Not because I think it's the right thing to do, but because it's because what she needs to feel safe/comfortable around me. I think that recreational drugs can be done responsibly, and I know many people that use recreational drugs and are still function superbly in society, these people have morals, responsibilities and priorities.

It's certainly going to be different, though. I've never been too fond of sober life. It gets so stressful and depressing. Actually, I blame sobriety for my failures in school my previous years. I'm used to doing DXM once every week or so, and it relieves my stress like one wouldn't believe.

But who knows, maybe I'm not supposed to do well in school. I'm making All As/high Bs, and have been all this 9 weeks. But I don't know if I can keep up my motivation. I don't know..I just feel really weak right now. But, maybe Jamie and I will work. Maybe she'll be there for me when I fall short of my expectations, maybe I won't need a chemical to counter my mental discomforts.

She really is beautiful. Everything about her. I love her eyes. I love her silly little noises. I love how she reacts when I tickle her, and how she looks up at me with her big blue eyes from below. I also love how we're so different, but so attracted to each other. She herself said that she has no idea why she likes me, and that she's surprised that she likes someone like me. I understand though, as well. I'm surprised also. But, I can't really help but fall for her. My hormones are going crazy, I'm stressed, and she's just so cute.

But a lot of people don't like her. And I don't really know which story to believe. I know that she's a loner most of the time, and that her only real friend is Rhonda. I'm the same way, really. I've always been a loner, I have friends. But I'm never with them at school, usually. Raven and Jacintha don't like her, I know that. But I'm not going to trust anything that Raven tells me. I really do hate her. She fucked me over, and to this day she would deny it.

But I don't show my hatred. I actually pity her. I can see through her little veil she puts up in front of her friends, and I can sense her insecurities. She's a horrible person, and that makes me sad.

Oh well, I thank those (If there are any) that read this. Just..Wish me luck with my romantic escapades, and with sober life and grades.

Life is fucking epic.